My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize