saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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