Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize