I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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