Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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