life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She's the barista slut.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize