We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
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I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
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I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I had to cum in my sink.
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