why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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