She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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