i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
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Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
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I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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