I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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