Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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