didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I cockslap morals
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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