My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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