just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
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I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So squirting runs in the family.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
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When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i now understand why vodka
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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