My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize