I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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