They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
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corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
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I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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