you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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