is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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