Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
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After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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