Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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