Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize