I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize