I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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