New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wish i was in the wii world.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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