i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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