I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
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Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
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Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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