so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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