You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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