y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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