I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
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She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
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You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize