He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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