okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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