he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
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today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
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I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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