Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Floor bacon is actually really good
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize