my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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