She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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