my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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