He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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