I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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