I wish my penis had an off switch
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize