:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
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I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
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You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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