so explain again why im purple
no
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
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The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
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So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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