how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
well you can't waste a boner
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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