at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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