the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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