What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I checked into jail on foursquare
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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