I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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