did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize