Ketchup is God's man juice
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
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No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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