After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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