What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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