Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize